Satire: Called Germany, they want the Berlin Wall Back | Instant News

Over the weekend, Capital University received a devastating phone call. The Germans called and asked that part of the university’s Berlin Wall be returned.

Many students attend Capital with the same purpose of breathing air as parts of the Berlin Wall.

Students are surprised to learn that this precious piece of history is no longer present on campus.

The upperclassmen were the most disappointed with Germany’s actions, considering they had seen him on campus every day for 3 and 4 years.

When asked about removing a piece of the Capital from the Berlin Wall, junior, Kylie Jenner was talkative.

What is the Berlin Wall? he asked, without looking up from his cell phone.

Jenner’s words and tone sparked deep sorrow about the removal of the Berlin Wall.

Senior Tristan Thompson was just as surprised at the interview.

“What are you talking about? There was never a wall on campus,” Thompson said.

It was clear the student body was in shock over this incident, so I decided to call Germany to discuss it.

Transcript of my exclusive interview with Germany:

Bridget: “Germany, our student body is desperate about removing parts of the Berlin Wall of the Capital. Can you please provide us with any kind of explanation? ”

Germany: “No comments.”

Bridget; “Come on Kuman, spill the tea.”

Germany: “OK, here’s the deal. We just feel that the Berlin Wall piece didn’t get as much appreciation as it should. We cannot accept negativity like that in 2021. ”

Bridget: “On behalf of the student body Capital, I can honestly say this is a huge loss for our university.”

Germany: “Yes, you probably should have thought about it. Sounds like your problem. ”

Unfortunately, I can’t get Germany to agree to restore the former Capital Berlin Wall.

Despite student pressure surrounding the situation, several petitions have been sent asking for a large number of different things to replace the former Berlin Capital wall.

So far, the petition for the vending machine to be placed on the Berlin Wall has the most signatures. The petition for the walls to be replaced with trash cans is imminent.

Unfortunately, the class of the future Capital City will not know what it is like to breathe the same air as part of the famous Berlin Wall.

There has been no further communication with Germany, but Capital University has not simply given up.

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